I’m a 90’s kid, things are drastically changing with each passing year, I feel change signifies growth, and growth is required in all aspects of our life. Last decade has been an emotionally transforming decade, I learned a lot in these years, and the last year of the decade i.e. 2019 was a physically and mentally challenging year for me, it was about acceptance and love, accepting each phase of my life and loving myself through it all. The entire decade felt like I was practicing whereas the end of the decade, was the actual exam, it made me tougher, tested me, and taught me to stand tall through it all. Few months into 2020, I feel I’m more prepared, I’m aware that certain things need to be handled differently and certain techniques need to be implemented to live a better life, “slow” doesn’t mean wrong, sometimes having a slow and steady life gets you where you want to be rather than rushing everything, and at the end of the day do what makes your life better, to each his own, right? Everyone functions differently, everyone learns and unlearns at a different pace. I learned Life isn’t a race, it’s a journey to be lived and celebrated, comparisons, judgments never really result in anything fruitful, I wish people would understand this, the reason we are called individuals is that we are different, we function differently, we want different things, and possess different skills, asking a banana tree to give apples and vice versa is just ignorance I would say, let them be unapologetically themselves. From my personal experience here is a list of things I learned in the past decade, I hope reading this has a positive impact on your life too.
Live a disciplined life :
Complaining never really got anyone anywhere, all our life we search for the one thing necessary to lead a successful life, we set goals, plan everything, yet the most important factor we tend to skip is discipline, it took me some time but gradually I realized the value of discipline, also how important it’s to understand that procrastinating will only delay my success, we all want a fabulous career, an amazing personal life, we want to be fit physically, but do we work hard to achieve what we want? To top it all we blame luck, why will anybody help you if you’re not helping yourself right? It’s 2020, A Disciplined lifestyle will de-clutter 95% of our life issues, plan better, perform better, once we implement discipline in our day to day life we will stop blaming luck or lack of opportunities, also having all the resources to be successful isn’t enough the question is how bad do you want it? are you willing to put efforts and make it happen? I started planning my days well in advance, started setting realistic goals, and the most important thing “say less do more”. No matter what time of the day is your time to be creative, whether early morning or late at night, get things done, working without joy and contentment will just drain you, do everything, as you mean it. The most important thing I learned in 2019 is if you love yourself you will be more disciplined and will live life on your terms.
People don’t hate you, you just don’t love yourself enough:
There are a few things in life you need to learn early, so they won’t affect you in your routine life, I started minding my own business since I was a child, maybe because I studied at different schools and never really depended on anyone, I never tried to put the burden of my expectations of other people. Yet, there were a few ups and downs, let me ask you, Ever Had one of those days when you feel the entire world is conspiring against you? It happens to the best of us, it is okay, let me tell you something important, Well, honestly no one has got time to do that, people are occupied with their Issues they don’t have time to hate on you, even if they do, learn to ignore it, love yourself enough so that you don’t have to seek validation from others. I learned I’m my no.1 enemy or no.1 friend I decide what I want to be. Love yourself enough to let go of anything that makes you feel miserable, believe, just believe in yourself, if you can believe everything you see on Netflix, you can believe in yourself. (I get easily distracted, which is your favorite Netflix show? just kidding, but really?) work on yourself, people always have an opinion that doesn’t mean you have to take everything personally, the longer you take to only depend on yourself, the longer you will suffer, suffering is subjective, but is anyone worth suffering for? And do you think anyone worth suffering for will let you suffer? It took me 25 odd years to love myself and will continue to do so, there is no secret, love yourself enough to want better, work for better, and let go of anything that doesn’t let you live your dream, protect your energy.
BE KIND :
Learn everything in life, live life on your terms but No matter what Ashwini just be kind(Yes, you need to give yourself a pep talk once in a while), I feel awkward at times when I say I vouch for kindness and get cold stares, like Susan why are you staring? No matter what you go through in life Don’t forget to be kind, sprinkle kindness all over, don’t wait for others, start from yourself, be a good person, it takes nothing to be a decent human being, money is something but it’s not everything, people never forget how someone made them feel, leave people and places better than you found them. Listen more, say less, make sure what you say is better than your silence, we have all read these quotes and they genuinely need to be implemented in our day to day life. Everyone wants to be rich, famous, why not kind and empathetic? You can be a million things but first please try to be kind. I usually don’t sell things or ideas, I won’t ask you anything, just one thing, be kind, the kind vibes you put in the universe come right back at you. Kindness works like a boomerang. I’m trying to live life a kind gesture at a time. I don’t know about you but hey being kind always tops my list of how I want my life to be. Be Kind not just to fellow human beings, but to animals as well. I don’t want to be the smartest person in the room, I want to be the kindest of them all.
Work for something you’re passionate about :
The most important thing I learned is to stand for what I truly believe in no matter what someone says, I want you all to feed this piece of advice in your beautiful heart mind and soul, and I’m not saying disrespect someone, I’m just asking you to respect yourself too. I have Degrees and Diplomas irrelevant to what I’m currently doing in life and it’s okay, education is important and learning something new is never waste of time or resources, I have had plenty of people telling me to pursue a career in something I never really liked, to all the people out there, it’s okay to have multiple certifications it’s okay to have multiple careers to choose from or vice versa, it’s okay to do something people don’t understand, people love watching movies love entertainment but find a creative job waste of time? funny! I got my diploma in creative writing and I’m doing what I love, it didn’t fetch me millions of dollars overnight, but I’m happy, I’m doing what I love, I’m channelizing my energy in doing something I passionate about. Each individual is different, having a different set of interests, we all function differently, and it’s perfectly alright! So, I not only learned to follow my passion but also not to judge others for what they’re doing, we never really know what the other person is going through in life, be a kind human being, don’t ruin everything with salty judgments. You do you.
It gets better even if it feels like the end of the world :
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult, now that I’m a few years into the adulthood I have cried a river and have felt nothing ever is going to be okay! In 2019 I grew a thicker skin emotionally, I don’t know what you have been told but let me tell you something I learned, we are constantly evolving, situations don’t remain the same, everything keeps changing, bad phases are short-lived, the real question is do you want your life to be fantastic? what are you doing to make your life fantastic? don’t procrastinate don’t blame luck, don’t blame destiny, we all have been there, you’re powerful, you’re blessed, just start doing something for your good! Start valuing your time, start valuing everything, be grateful, the end is in your mind, it’s not over until you give up, go for therapy if required, start eating clean, exercise, don’t be ashamed of anything, not the good, the bad or the ugly, embrace everything, accept everything and be courageous enough to change what you don’t want to accept, it’s your life if you don’t do it, who will do it for you? Your life is your own it’s not a community project, take charge of your life, and embrace it.
We are a few months into 2020 if feels as though nothing is going according to the plan, I know, I had plans too, we just have to postpone the outdoor plans, rest we can do all the creative work at home, we can plan ahead of time, we have plenty of time to set new goals and a strategy to chase those goals, everything is going to be fine, trust yourself and your journey, it won’t be gloomy for long, the sun will shine bright again. Wishing you all a fantastic start, may our vibes be the best, coffee strongest, and souls kindest.